The Missing Key to a Successful Fundraise

👋 Hi my name is Roslyn, I’m a founder and executive coach. I help purpose-led founders scale their impact without burning out. Learn about working 1:1 here.

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Hi there,

Hope you’re having a lovely week. 

I’m back from Spain and am feeling very rested, creative, and resourced to get back into building my business. 

Taking some distance from the day-to-day has given me new ideas and perspectives on what’s important and where I want to go. And has left me feeling more regulated, present and excited to jump back into coaching my incredible clients.

If you’re ever feeling guilty or like you’re having trouble stepping away, let this be your reminder that it will make you a better business owner, strategic, creator, and boss. And even if it doesn’t, you’re still so deserving of rest and fun.

Today we’re talking about the thing I wish I’d understood way better back when I was fundraising since I really struggled with it: building nervous system resonance.

One of today’s expanders, a venture capital investor, says: “Nervous system regulation arguably matters more than pitch decks.” 

Yep, you heard that right!

So today’ we’ll cover:

• Why your nervous system might perceive aspects of fundraising as unsafe

• Nervous system practices you can use before high stakes moments and in your day-to-day to build nervous system resonance

• Expert insights from a founder and an investor

But first…

TOMORROW: How to Fundraise with Magnetism and Resilience, a free webinar, is happening at 4PM EST. We’ll go in depth on both the strategy/tactics and the inner work to fundraise successfully.

Reserve your spot here to join real-time or access the replay.

Where we go deep on the outer work or the inner work of building a startup.

Building Nervous System Resonance for Fundraising

Supporting your nervous system is a very underlooked but game changing tool when it comes to raising capital. 

Looking back on my own experience of raising capital, I can see now that often my nervous system was in fight, flight, freeze, flop or fawn in investor conversations. I’d often feel nervous, shaky, palms sweating, stomach sick, heart racing going into investor meetings. 

Because I was in either an activated or a frozen nervous system state and unable to regulate myself, I’d sometimes feel stuck in meetings, unable to confidently pitch, think clearly and convey our vision or navigate questions in a confident, self-assured way. 

Unfortunately I don’t think this translated to the impression I was hoping to make with investors.

Here’s what I wish I had known then.

WHEN FUNDRAISING = DANGER

It’s natural for your nervous system to process some facets of a fundraising process as danger: a high-stakes investor meeting, a hard question from an investor, a no, an unfavorable term sheet, or your slacks and emails overflowing as you dedicate more time to fundraising.

When you’re stuck in a constant state of nervous system activation it can be difficult to think straight, to stay present, to access your intuition, creativity and problem solving, and to show up how you want to throughout your fundraise.

An activated nervous system can also create an emotional response — anxiety, overwhelm, doubt — which may lead to stories like “I can’t do this”, “My company isn’t good enough” or “If I don’t succeed my company dies”. Which leads to actions that are not aligned with the outcomes that we desire.

To add to the matter, some of us may have nervous systems with lower capacity to move through these stress cycles and might be more likely to get caught in activated or freeze states.

WHY THIS HAPPENS

1. Our nervous systems store trauma, pain and programming that may be counterproductive to raising capital.

Many of us may have had traumatic experiences in our upbringing that can make investor pitches feel unsafe. For example, being humiliated when public speaking or being abused or feeling shamed by authority figures. If unhealed, these traumas get stored in our nervous systems. If something that feels like a similar dynamic is present (e.g. an investor critiquing our pitch feels like we’re being shamed for not being good enough), our nervous system can go into that fight/flight or freeze/flop/fawn state because it thinks there’s still danger present.

The stories and behaviors our caretakers had around money also get stored in our nervous system. Maybe we had a parent with a scarcity mindset, that taught us that there isn’t enough money to go around. Or that possessing money equates to being selfish, greedy and entitled. 

Maybe we experienced a trauma around money — a parent that lost it all, or a messy divorce. Or maybe we experienced a money-related trauma ourselves in our adult life, a business failure or feeling trapped in consumer debt.

Any money-related trauma or disempowering stories can contribute to a dysregulated nervous system when it comes to fundraising.

2. Beyond the trauma of our own lived experiences and what we observe from our caretakers, our nervous system patterns can be genetically inherited from our parents. 

That means you inherit your parents’ genes that influence how your body and brain respond to stress, regulate emotion and recover from threats. 

And they inherited their nervous systems from their parents (both genetically and epigenetically) so when you think back to the lived experiences of your grandparents and beyond, you’re carrying those in your nervous system too.

3. Our unconscious or subconscious nervous system seeks safety by trying to keep things the same. 

Our brains and bodies are wired for survival. Our nervous system wants us to stay exactly the same because it’s energetically expensive to rewire our nervous system. 

For most people, when it comes to fundraising, most of us have not previously experienced raising $1m, $5m, or $10m. We’ve never been responsible for that amount of cash, and the expected returns that come with that capital. And so, although logically we want that capital — we know it will help us scale our teams, our businesses, our impact — everything in our nervous system says “NO, we do not want to change. This is not safe.”.

When left unaddressed, any of these can meaningfully keep you from being energetically aligned to who you need to be and what you need to do to successfully raise. 

Know that if this is the case for you, that it’s not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is simply the hand that you were dealt.

However, you do have the opportunity and responsibility to heal and build resonance in your nervous system if you believe that raising capital is part of bringing your vision into the world.

There are going to be moments naturally where your adrenaline spikes in the fundraising process, high stakes moments like pitches and meetings. 

The point of nervous system work isn’t to prevent that from happening, but to increase your nervous system’s resonance, aka its ability to more smoothly flow between sympathetic and parasympathetic states. 

Here’s how you can use nervous system practices to prepare you for a high-stakes moment — a pitch competition, going into an investor meeting, pitching the partner group — (one that might be perceived as “dangerous”).

NERVOUS SYSTEM PRACTICES FOR BEFORE A HIGH STAKES MOMENT

• Feeling the five senses: Take a moment to name five things you can see around you, four sensations in your body, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise grounds you in the present moment (pulling you back from ruminating about the past or worrying about the future). Here’s a guided meditation.

• Breathwork: Intentional breathing helps regulate your heart rate, calm your mind, and signal safety to your body. I’m personally a fan of the simple box breathing, the physiological sigh, and alternate-nostril breathing (nadi shodhana). 

• Humming or omm’ing: Humming stimulates the vagus nerve, which activates your parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) system. Just a minute or two can slow your heart rate, reduce stress, and help you drop into a more grounded, embodied state.

• Butterfly hug: Cross your arms over your chest so each hand rests on the opposite upper arm, and gently tap back and forth. This bilateral stimulation calms the nervous system and creates a sense of self-soothing and safety.

• Washing machine: Gently twist your torso side to side with loose arms swinging like a washing machine agitator. This rhythmic, pendulum-like movement can discharge excess adrenaline, regulate your breath, and restore a sense of flow and balance in the body. 

• Body scan: Slowly bring your attention through each part of your body, from your feet to the top of your head, noticing sensations without judgment. This builds interoceptive awareness and helps bring you back into your body if you’re feeling disconnected or tense.

DAILY PRACTICES

It’s not only great to use nervous system practices before a big moment but to incorporate them into your day regularly. 

Find a time in your day when it makes sense to habit stack one of the practices below — maybe it’s during a morning practice or routine, maybe it’s after you eat lunch, or maybe you use it to transition from your workday to your evening. 

Even better if you can take multiple breaks in your workday to fit one of these in (really just 1-2 minutes a few times a day will make a meaningful change.) 

And trust me, if this thought passes through “I have to [go to the bathroom / fill up my water bottle / stretch my neck] but I just want to finish this [xyz task]”, it’s time to take a break, see to your needs and try one of the following:

• Breathwork, as described in the section above  

• Light stretching, yin and restorative yoga, foam rolling: Gentle movement and deep stretching signal to your body that it’s safe to relax. These practices help release stored tension, calm the mind, and increase circulation

• Phone free walk: Step outside for a short walk without your phone or distractions. The combination of natural light, fresh air, and rhythmic movement soothes the nervous system and helps clear mental clutter, making space for presence and clarity.

• Get up and stretch: Just 60 seconds of standing up, shaking out your arms, rolling your shoulders, or stretching your spine can shift stagnant energy, increase alertness, and lower cortisol. 

• Guided body scan: Listen to a 5–10 minute guided body scan to reconnect with your breath and body. By directing attention inward, you create spaciousness in your nervous system and shift from anxious anticipation to grounded awareness.

• Self-care routine: Whether it’s splashing cold water on your face, lighting a calming scent, or sipping a warm tea, simple self-care rituals anchor your body in safety and intention. They send the message: I’m cared for, I’ve got this. 

• Interoception: A couple of times a day, carve out five minutes to consider these five questions: 

  • How’s my mental state? Are my thoughts racing or foggy? Or are they calm and alert?

  • What’s my awareness like? Is it narrow and protected? Or is it expanded and receptive? 

  • How’s my posture right now? Is it tense and collapsed? Or is it open and relaxed? 

  • How is my breath in this moment? Is it shallow and rapid? Or deep, slow and soft? 

  • What emotion(s) do I feel right now? Do I feel joy? Sadness? Gratitude? Fear? Anxiety?

DISCHARGING THE STRESS RESPONSE

If you’re feeling quite stressed and stuck in a dysregulated state, these evidence-based strategies can help you complete your stress cycle, so you can come back into a rest-or-digest state.

• Physical activity: Since stress is physical, physical activity can be a big part of ending stress cycles. A run, hiking, the gym, dancing, water aerobics — any type of movement goes. 

• Creativity: Engage in whichever creative activity appeals to you - drawing or coloring, writing, photography, basket-weaving, origami, baking.

• Laughing: Laughter is a way to release and express all our emotions we’re keeping inside. Read a funny book, watch some comedy on YouTube or TikTok, listen to a funny podcast. 

• Crying: Crying is one of our body’s mechanisms to release stress. If you feel yourself wanting to cry, let it come up and embrace it.

• Physical affection: If you have someone you feel safe with, ask for a long hug. Spending time with a loving pet can also work. If you don’t have access to either, even hugging yourself or engaging in self-massage (like Abyhanga mentioned above). 

• Breathing: As mentioned above, deep breathing can calm down your vagus nerve and complete your fight or flight response.

SOMATIC WORK

Finally, if you’re someone that has a quite dysregulated nervous system or a background of trauma, you might benefit from doing some deeper somatic work. Here are a few options: 

• Somatic experiencing: Somatic Experiencing helps the body complete the fight, flight, or freeze response that got interrupted, allowing the system to return to balance. I’ve tried this and highly recommend it. You can find a directory of somatic practitioners here.

• Body mapping: I’ve personally been using a modality called body mapping, a practice of attentively scanning, sensing, and “mapping” different parts of the body, often through guided prompts or visualization. I’ve been working with Prism Studio and highly recommend them.

• Nervous System Courses: While I haven’t worked with her directly I love Sarah Baldwin’s content on Instagram and she has a couple of courses on nervous system regulation and embodied healing. 

I’m so excited to introduce two incredible expanders for today’s newsletter, one investor and one founder, that share some excellent fundraising advice.

Investor Insight: Rohan Wadhwa, Lumos Capital Group 

“The strongest fundraises often come from founders who prepare deeply — not just with materials, but with the inner steadiness to navigate the roller coaster that is a fundraise. 

Preparation creates the foundation to stay grounded and protect your energy, especially when the answers are slow or the questions are tough. Belief and conviction matters, but it’s just as important to stay present and clear-minded enough to truly listen, understanding the question behind the question. That level of attunement requires calm, curiosity, and confidence in equal measure. 

Nervous system regulation arguably matters more than pitch decks. The founders I’ve seen succeed most consistently are those who approach the raise as mutual exploration—not performance. When you can hold confidence while remaining open, curious, and clear, your fundraising becomes less about convincing—and more about resonance.”  

Rohan Wadhwa, Co-Founder & Managing Director, Lumos Capital Group 

Founder Insight: Charlotte Cruze, alice mushrooms

“I sometimes joke that fundraising isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy. That is far too dramatic, but it really is an incredibly taxing experience that can drag you to some low places if you let it. 

My number one advice (for literally everything, not just this) is to get a therapist who can help you confront the insecurities/fears/tough emotions that will inevitably arise. 

Also…pets. My dog and cats would force me out of my fundraising headspace for walks/meals/attention and it helped me remember that there is more to life than work! Sometimes you need to take care of another animal to remember to take care of yourself.” 

Charlotte Cruze, Co-Founder and COO of alice mushrooms

Raised $10M+ in funding, named in Inc.'s Female Founders 500, recognized in Fast Company's Most Innovative companies of 2025

1. What aspects of fundraising does my nervous system perceive as “unsafe” (in other words, what aspects of it triggers a fight/flight/freeze or fawn/flop response)? 

2. How can I support my nervous system in those stressful moments and throughout my fundraising process?

3. In moments when I’ve shown up feeling calm and confident, what’s allowed me to step into meetings in that state? Anything I can replicate going forward?

• 1:1 Coaching: If you’d like support with the inner AND outer work of fundraising, or any aspect of building your startup, let’s chat. You can book a free consultation.

• If you’re more of a audio/visual learner I’ve been sharing fundraising content in Instagram reels like this one.

• I’m hosting a free online event TOMORROW on both the outer and inner work of fundraising. Reserve your spot.

Finally, tell me how you liked this newsletter. I read every piece of feedback.

If you found this newsletter valuable, please forward it to a founder friend that needs to read this.

With love,
Roslyn 💚