The Unexpected Gift of Founder Burnout

This past year, I suffered a serious case of founder burnout, a hardship that brought about the heartbreaking decision to move on from the day-to-day operations of a company I co-founded and dearly love.

My burnout and the period of recovery and transition that followed, while gut wrenchingly painful at times, spurred healing and growth that is transforming my life in ways I did not expect.

For anyone who’s experienced burnout, I don’t need to describe the grip it takes on your life, you already know. But for those who haven’t, I’ll try to explain here.

It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion, except you can’t sleep because of the unrelenting anxiety and rumination that keeps you awake. It’s a dullness, an apathy, and an inability to care about the aspects of life that once brought you meaning and excitement. It’s feeling debilitatingly overwhelmed when you think of the work tasks that were once so simple. It’s spiraling into a full mental breakdown over challenges you used to handle with ease. It’s a lurking self-doubt, a tormenting inner voice of criticism. A constant unease that others must see you this way too, or that any minute they might discover that you are a failure. And it’s a hopelessness that you will never find your way out.

Burning out as a founder adds an additional layer of guilt and shame. You want to show up as the leader and operator you know your team deserves. That does justice to your incredible vision. You love your company and your team so much, so why do you feel this way?!

A few of the causes for me were unsurprising: the compounding effect of being “on”, building a startup for the last 5+ years without taking more than a couple of weeks off at a time, an extensive scope that was starting to burst at the seams as the company grew, the constant and intense personal and professional growth required as a first-time founder when you grow your company from 3 to 40+ people over 5 years, and all of that on the backdrop of a tough economy for the media industry... These are all factors that, together or alone, could easily contribute to burnout.

Equally impactful, perhaps, were all the ways in which my internal world, my own beliefs, and behaviors led to my burnout. And it’s been the process of uncovering and understanding these that has been the most enlightening part. It has been the biggest gift of a heavy rock bottom.

My experience with burnout forced the examination of many things in my life.

1. Limiting beliefs: My burnout forced me take a hard look at my people-pleasing, overgiving, and perfectionistic tendencies and the limiting beliefs I hold that motivated those behaviors. It prompted me to start to uncover the sources of those limiting beliefs, how they shape how I show up in the world, and where I derive my sense of worth (hello inner child and shadow work!).

2. Energy giving vs. energy draining work: I was forced to examine what kind of work actually lights me up inside, plays to my unique gifts, and allows me to have the most impact. And sadly a not insignificant chunk of work in my role didn’t fit that. That was hard to accept, given all the years I’d spent developing skills in those areas, thinking those areas alone were where my value lies.

3. Identity: My time away from work provided me the space to rediscover and explore who I am outside of my identity as a co-founder of The GIST and to separate my personal mission, purpose, values, and hopes and dreams from those of my company. (As entrepreneurs, it can be really easy to start to meld your own identity and mission and path into your company’s… which, turns out, isn’t the most healthy).

4. Inability to rest: My burnout prompted me to face my relationship with work and to develop healthier beliefs around work and rest. To learn that restorative time and play are necessary for us to do our best work. Which is not an easy belief system to change within a society that equates our value with our productivity (or sometimes our busyness), our output, our material worth, and other external factors that ultimately are not the things that give our lives meaning.

5. Self abandonment: My burnout made me face the unhealthy, often compounding, ways I’d been coping. The under-investments in other areas of my life that mean so much to me. And the ways I’d been betraying myself, my health, and my personal values.

Like I said, it’s been an intense period of personal growth. I’ve learned a lot in a short amount of time (and have a long way to go still). And I’m so excited to share more on all of these learnings in the future.

Ultimately, this period led me to the deeply difficult decision to transition from being an operational leader at my company to a strategic advisor.

While it’s been painful to come to terms with, I know the company deserves leaders who are genuinely energized by their work. That can bring fresh ideas, perspectives and ways of doing things that can take The GIST to its next level of success and impact. People who are able to generously support our team from a full cup instead of an empty one.

I will always love The GIST so much and am incredibly proud of the company and team we’ve built and am thrilled to continue to support the company as a Strategic Advisor, a role that allows me to do work I love and do best.

As for my next chapter beyond The GIST, I (now) know that I deserve to do work that is not only deeply meaningful to me but that also aligns with my unique strengths, lights me up, and allows for a more balanced approach to life. I’m not sure exactly what it is yet, but I know I want to get back to my creative roots as an entrepreneur, to share more about what I’ve learned about personal growth, entrepreneurship, and life, and to continue to have a positive impact in the world.

If you’re still reading this, thank you! If any of this resonates, I hope you’ll continue to follow along on LinkedIn as I intend to go deeper (and more vulnerable at times) about my experience. And to share my process, resources, and practices for anyone in a similar situation or who wants to be more intentional about how they show up in their work and life.

For anyone who’s burned out right now, I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and know that you’re not alone. It can get better. A few of the resources that helped me when I was in the thick of it are:

• Cait Donovan 🍳 and her podcast Fried. The Burnout Podcast made me feel so seen and less alone. Her coaching offerings, book, and community are all very powerful resources for anyone experiencing burnout.

• Talking to a therapist or coach if you have the means. There are often internal contributors to burnout in addition to external ones that can be powerful to unpack with a third party.

• Leaning on your loved ones and community. (I’ve discovered more people have been through this than publicly talk about it, so find your people - they’ll help immeasurably.)

Thank you so much, and hope to speak again soon.

With love,
Roslyn